Ms. Smith stopped to reprove Johnny for making faces: "Johnny, when I was small, my mother
used to tell me that if I made ugly faces, at some moment it would freeze and stay like that."
Johnny looked up at her and thoughtfully replied:
"Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't forewarned."
*****
A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected, a large crowd gathered.
A newspaper reporter anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort,
he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."
The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
*****
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.
This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently
I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
*****
My boyfriend is going to die of syphilis, mumbled an angry woman to here friend.
"No," her friend said, "people do not die of syphilis anymore".
The woman replied, "They do when they give it to me!".
*****
A son wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his mother for days.
Finally she talked her reluctant father into taking the boy to see some animals.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great", the son said.
"What was your favorite part?" she asked.
The boy answered, "when one of the horses came home at 30 to 1!"
*****
A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis.
After the second week, he made his move.
"No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age,
but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."
"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.
"Oh, I don't mind too much." she said.
"But, it has my husband pretty upset."
*****
This guy goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a lady sitting by herself.
Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
Lady: "No thank you. Alcohol is bad for my legs.
"Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Lady: "No, they spread."
Shorties
