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Drunk Darth Vader's Jedi assault

Pooka
04-23-08, 12:14 AM
A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries.

Hughes, who was drunk and dressed in a black bin bag, shouted "Darth Vader!"

Earlier, when Hughes failed to arrive on time, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: "I hope the force will soon be with him."

In the event, Hughes turned up and the case at Holyhead magistrates court resumed.

The court heard he had jumped over a garden wall wearing the bin bag before the attack.

Outlining the case againt Hughes, prosectutor Nia Lloyd said Barney Jones had recently started the Jedi church in Holyhead - in honour of the Star Wars' good knights.

It had about 30 members locally and "thousands worldwide".

The cousins had been filming themselves playing with light sabres in the garden before the attack.

Hughes admitted two charges of common assault.

The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

Mrs Lloyd said: "He was wearing a black bin bag and a cape and had a metal crutch in his hand."

Mrs Lloyd said he was shouting "Darth Vader".

She added that Hughes hit Barney Jones over the head with the crutch, leaving him with a headache.

He then laughed and hit Michael Jones in the thigh, causing bruising.

Both men were left upset by the incident and they believed it was pre-planned.

She added that the pair believe "very strongly in the church and their religion".

Hughes could not remember the incident and only realised what had happened when he read about it in local newspapers, the court told.

Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was "ruining his life" and he had no idea where he got the crutch from.

The court head Hughes had previous convictions, including affray, assault and disorderly behaviour.

The judge warned Hughes that jail remained a possibility before adjourning for pre-sentence reports until 13 May.

Source (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/north_west/7360871.stm)
:rotflmao:

pvtpile
04-23-08, 01:30 AM
What horrible Jedi

ZeroAccuracy
04-23-08, 02:30 AM
Fucking awesome. Now, if only he could use the Jedi Mind Tricks to convince the judge and jury that it never happened.

Jantheman
04-23-08, 03:34 AM
A church for Jedis? Haven't these guys ever seen a vagina? That is sci-fi taken way too far over the edge. God may be a giant man that no one has ever seen, heard or felt but so many of the world believe in. At least, these guys have seen the movie.

FauxReal
04-23-08, 07:14 PM
A church for Jedis? Haven't these guys ever seen a vagina? That is sci-fi taken way too far over the edge. God may be a giant man that no one has ever seen, heard or felt but so many of the world believe in. At least, these guys have seen the movie.

Reminds me of the time Conan O'Brien sent Triumph to the Star Wars ep 1 premier. There was a bunch of fans dressed up outside doing skits and other silly things and he was talking smack. He sees this one pregnant woman and... well watch 3:38 of this video.

YouTube - Star Wars Nerds!

tamsnod27
04-23-08, 09:34 PM
Quote from Bobcat, "I was in a movie house to watch the new Star Wars re-cuts, and a bunch of these nerds started yelling 'FAKE, FAKE!!' to some of the new scenes....I wanted to yell, 'Have any of you nerds ever seen a vagina? If I held up a mop, a lamp, and a Vagina, could you pick it out? Let me tell you, as soon as you become familiar with a vagina, you will be throwing that Wookie cookie jar right the hell out of the window as you say, 'What the hell was I thinking about???!!!' Funny to read, funnier to hear him say it!

Jantheman
04-24-08, 02:46 PM
Reminds me of the time Conan O'Brien sent Triumph to the Star Wars ep 1 premier. There was a bunch of fans dressed up outside doing skits and other silly things and he was talking smack. He sees this one pregnant woman and... well watch 3:38 of this video.

YouTube - Star Wars Nerds! (http://youtube.com/watch?v=KOcKGc8ycCA)

That is some funny stuff, FR. I have seen bits and pieces of this but never the whole thing. Nerds everywhere, plus a few girl nerds for good measure. Even a pregnant woman nerd, this video is way beyond my expectations. Hilarious, his comments are by far and away crazy but true. Thanks Faux Real, great find. I watched the whole vid, Triumph is a character.:icon_oyes::icon_oyes::icon_oyes:

Jantheman
04-24-08, 02:48 PM
^^Bobcat gets no respect, he has a great sense of humor.

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