majorhan
04-02-07, 04:37 PM
Before the inauguration, George W. was invited to a 'get acquainted' tour of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea,
he asked President Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.
He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal!
That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.
"Just think," he said, "when I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!"
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House,
she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that,
in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.
That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed.
Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."
--
Bush wins the election. He and Cheney are having lunch at a diner near the White House.
Cheney orders the "Heart-Healthy" salad.
Bush leans over to the waitress and says "Honey, could I have a quickie?"
She's horrified! She says, "Mr. President,
I thought your administration would bring a new era of moral rectitude to the White House.
Now I see I was wrong and I'm sorry I voted for you," and she marches off.
Cheney leans over and says, "George, I think it's pronounced 'QUICHE.'"
--
George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.
"You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so.
I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. Such was his fate in hell.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it,
George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
After drinking several glasses of iced tea,
he asked President Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.
He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal!
That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.
"Just think," he said, "when I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!"
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House,
she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that,
in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.
That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed.
Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."
--
Bush wins the election. He and Cheney are having lunch at a diner near the White House.
Cheney orders the "Heart-Healthy" salad.
Bush leans over to the waitress and says "Honey, could I have a quickie?"
She's horrified! She says, "Mr. President,
I thought your administration would bring a new era of moral rectitude to the White House.
Now I see I was wrong and I'm sorry I voted for you," and she marches off.
Cheney leans over and says, "George, I think it's pronounced 'QUICHE.'"
--
George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.
"You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so.
I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. Such was his fate in hell.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it,
George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"