Intermittent moments of lucid thought....

Random stuff I've heard and seen lately while working downtown.... Some people make me wonder....

While trying to find a seat on the bus two weeks ago on my way home. Even better when it' said in broken engrish.
"When did being fatass bitch mean you frucking handicrap!"
This was just a fucking classic one, watching this 70-something Chinese lady, limping along on a cane, tearing a strip off of a 400lbs. welfare case fat fucker that didn't understand the concept of priority seating for the elderly and disabled doesn't include those who can't figure how to stop shoving the double quarter pounder's down their fucking throats long enough to call up Jenny Craig for something other than a Sunday brunch buffet.

At work today, doing a remote site job all week, with a slightly off-kilter bitch that doesn't understand how REALITY works.....
Where the fuck is your goddamned delivery driver? He was supposed to be here nearly an hour ago! Why the fuck did you tell him to show up late? If he doesn't hurry his fucking ass up, he's going to fuck up all of today's pickups!
This was just a wonderful one to deal with. As the case stands, I have no contact with the delivery/pickup driver, who happens to be MY boss, who is supposed to have a DESK JOB, but finds himself behind the wheel of our 24' delivery truck at least once a day. He's busy with meetings, co-ordinating projects between four different warehouses, trying to keep up with all the incoming orders, and can't get his cell to stop ringing for long enough to even get a smoke in. But, apparently, with all of that going on constantly, he can magically make sure that he gets downtown to this daily pickup on the stroke of noon, and pull off this miracle within an hour..... And seeing that the two of us make up the entire "remote projects" division of the company, and the transportation division refuses to make the pickups, since it involves actual work sometimes, we've really got the extra guys to spare to make this all go faster.

Thank the higher powers that be that I'll be quitting there by the end of next week, and going back to construction again!

Stuck in the sardine can that we call our wonderously miserable failure of a public transit light rail system, with someone unable to get the concept that her leg was in the way of the clearance light for the train door, holding everyone up at the station.
Alright, who's the damn doorblocking noob?!?
I got a few strange looks for that outburst, and a few good laughs from the college students stuck on the train. After the train driver got on the speaker telling her that she was blocking the doorway, I heard one of the students scream out "Kick that fucking noob! She's lagging the rest of us to all hell!" That just made my day when I heard it!

:yt: huh :whogivesafuk: :attention: :eatme: :mad-pound: :nrocks:

BWAHAHAHHHAHAHA that last one is priceless dude. Thanks for that :D

When I had my kids in the park sledding one snowy afternoon, we started the long walk back to the car and back up the long hill that everyone loved to slide down. At the top of the hill, I am winded from the day and stop while the kids run on to the car. I am standing beside another father and his young son, maybe all of five years old. They have a snow disc or flying saucer for sliding down the hill, which the son is sitting onto holding it for dear life. The Dad said to the Son, "I will give you a little shove to get you started". Well the kid replied "Don't do it Dad you'll break my fucking neck". I quote the kid. I wonder where here heard that?

Very similar experience to CJ when I had the pub. 3 underagers came in and tried to buy beer. I asked for ID and they didnt have anything I could accept so I had to send them on their way. On the way out the pub I heard "lolz... noobs", "pwnd" and by far the best "dont block the fooking doorway nub"

Well I giggled

Y'know, I think that I might just make this a regular column of sorts here, adding in random musings as existence goes along....

Anywho, on with today's newest :FU: moment

While trying to explain to the same Nazi-bitch client why I can't seem to pull off the miracle she expects me to do today....

What do you mean you can't get all of that stuff from the back, pack it up, manually record and register it, AND still make sure that all ten skids for today's shipment get out alright? For fucks sakes! My workers and I can do 100 of those boxes in an afternoon! Why the fuck can't you?!

At this point I just started to laugh at how she shot herself in the foot, essentially.

First, I mentioned to her the fact that it was not so much her as her WORKERS, all of which seemed to have quit, that did the work, and apparently there were something to the tune of 8 of them to do this job at the time. I sarcastically looked about to see where my assistants were, surprisingly they were nowhere to be found, who woulda thunk that one up? Maybe if you didn't drive the piss out of them, then I wouldn't be here at the moment trying to do the job of an army for a piss-poor wage.

After I heard her bitch some more for mocking her obvious idiocy, I asked her to hold the thought for a moment, and wandered off to the washroom. Upon my return, I told her, in a quite plain and very (difficult to remain) straight-faced way, that upon checking, I wasn't a miracle worker after all, failing the test of pissing out fucking rainbows and shitting pretty pink unicorns.

At this point, she just gave up, knowing that she couldn't even try to match wits anymore, and that I was actually getting a laugh out of her Little Hitler stance.