jod
12-07-06, 01:11 PM
Nearly wet myself at the last one :D
I think Sir Paul McCartney should try to put his current predicament into perspective. In olden days, if you were unfortunate enough to be robbed by an omniped, it would almost certainly be a pirate. At least he's going to come out of this alive.
Whilst on a cruise this summer, on the back of my cabin door was a notice reading 'Please think of the environment. Recycle where possible and switch off all appliances when not in use'. All this on a ship travelling at 17 inches to the gallon.
I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless.
EXPERIENCE the thrills of a skiing holiday without the expense. Simply sellotape two planks of wood to your feet, sit in your freezer for three hours, then run into a tree as fast as you can.
CONVINCE your friends that you play the trombone by standing behind a screen and farting into a watering can.
BIRD FLU could be quickly and easily eradicated by adding a few drops of Lemsip or Daynurse to birdbaths. Obviously, you would have to put Nightnurse in the birdbaths for owls.
Make sure your dad doesn't find out you've been watching his porn films by not whistling the theme tune to Emmanuelle at the dinner table.
Shoe bombers. Increase your payload by becoming a clown.
I think Sir Paul McCartney should try to put his current predicament into perspective. In olden days, if you were unfortunate enough to be robbed by an omniped, it would almost certainly be a pirate. At least he's going to come out of this alive.
Whilst on a cruise this summer, on the back of my cabin door was a notice reading 'Please think of the environment. Recycle where possible and switch off all appliances when not in use'. All this on a ship travelling at 17 inches to the gallon.
I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless.
EXPERIENCE the thrills of a skiing holiday without the expense. Simply sellotape two planks of wood to your feet, sit in your freezer for three hours, then run into a tree as fast as you can.
CONVINCE your friends that you play the trombone by standing behind a screen and farting into a watering can.
BIRD FLU could be quickly and easily eradicated by adding a few drops of Lemsip or Daynurse to birdbaths. Obviously, you would have to put Nightnurse in the birdbaths for owls.
Make sure your dad doesn't find out you've been watching his porn films by not whistling the theme tune to Emmanuelle at the dinner table.
Shoe bombers. Increase your payload by becoming a clown.